You do not call me anymore?

Guest Column
St Petersburg Times
November 17, 2006
Newspaper Version
It is the day after elections, and I feel lonely.  Unknown callers on my caller ID
have suddenly stopped calling to tell me how great their brother, sister, daughter,
or son is.

I felt needed and now I have been categorically dumped.  They did not even have
the courtesy to send Shannon Doherty?  

Everyone begged me to send them to Tallahassee or downtown Tampa; a few
wanted to go to Washington, D.C., too.  Do they not know it is already freezing up
there in D.C., and it is not just Nancy Pelosi inching her way to the Speaker’s chair?
I think I was too naïve to believe that they were my friends.  Whenever I picked
the phone, these unknown callers would not start talking to me until I said hello.  
One of them did talk without me saying anything, but it must have been my
unmistaken heavy panting from running to the phone that must have activated his
recorded message.

Talk about stalking.  When they did not have my attention on the phone, they
sent subliminal messages to me via TV.  Negative campaign commercials reminded
me that gossiping is a sin, but how else would I know - who has off-shore
accounts (Who doesn’t); who is in the pockets of insurance companies (Who isn’
t); who is a socialite (Wearing a red sweater disqualified her); whether the father
is running or is it his son (Does it matter); how much we need three generations
of county judges (Haven’t we learned from the Kennedy’s yet).

But, it is the voters who have outsmarted our politicians and I tell them - You did a
“hekuva” of a job.  With a Democratic house, an almost split Senate and a
Republican president, they assured gridlock.  It is gridlock in Congress when
things have gone well for our country.

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